“Motherhood is not a hobby, it is a calling. It is not something to do if you can squeeze the time in, it is what God gave you time for.” —Rachel JanKovic."
Quite an old fashioned quote according to me.. But motherhood definitely requires lot of time and patience. It's irrelevant whether you are a working woman or a home maker.. there are some things every new mother hears from people of all age groups around her. Having experienced it personally since few months, these lines are stuck in memory firmly. So what better place to jot down than my blog..
So here goes.
If I had a ruppee for everytime I was asked this in last 6 months. Initially this question makes u feel like you have conquered mount Everest. More than the question.. it's the way it's asked. Almost sounds like "welcome to hell" I had literally after a point started answering in sarcasm to this question."yeah.. cleaning potty and changing diapers...I was sooo looking forward to it...my life's aim is achieved" Haha.
I don't know if it's generally the case that the baby doesn't let the mother sleep a lot.. and I m sure it differs from baby to baby but I m sure there is adjustment time for both baby and mother so sleep just doesn't remain a priority for the mother. But it's really unfair to ask this question..because it's almost as if motherhood involves NOT getting sleep forever, which is not the case always. Once the sleeping pattern is developed everything falls in place...Ofcourse i.e if you haven't already passed out by then.
3. Has he started
Whether the kid is 3 months or 6 months or even newborn...somehow.. everyone is very curious to know the status of their growth. From crawling stages to walking to talking.. they know exactly which stage should the baby be on. Sometimes the question is asked so many times that u start doubting the baby if it hasn't started crawling or talking at a certain age...
4. How many teeth has he got?
The first stage of development for any child would be getting teeth...however I don't understand the curiosity of other people to know how many teeth has my kid got... Ofcourse.. I have no other work but to keep taking headcount of my kid's teeth.
5. Where is mommy?
Why is every child supposed to take this test and pass with flying colors. The moment he recognises you as a mother..that proves you have won half the battle...(or so it seems).
6. When are you resuming work?
The most common question asked to working women who become a mother. Maternity leaves obviously doesn't allow a long leave for women in India.. but every time this question was asked to me.. it really made me miss working.
7. Hey..join us!!!! Mom groups on social media.
The moment you become a mother and officially announce it on social media..somehow the cool trending advertisements that used to be visible on your timeline change.. What once used to be sexy lingerie and party wear dresses..now starts suggesting best diaper brand for babies and breastfeeding pumps.
8. Advice and loads of it!!
I don't even wanna get started on how much advice we get during our initial months. How to breastfeed...how to hold the baby.. put the baby to sleep.. what to talk to the baby.. what kind of nappies to use..what to feed them, which massage oil to use.. etc etc. I am sure as wellwishers they want to suggest their expertise on parenting..but too much of anything is not good and can get really overwhelming.
9. How does it feel?
Can anyone describe a feeling. There are days I don't sleep a second.. days I forget to eat.. time is a delusional concept for me.. but overall.. I m feeling awesome.
10. "Is it a boy or girl?"
Generally within first few months of being the toddler, it's not easy to recognise the gender of the child. So this is a very common question. Ofcourse there are some geniuses who tend to guess the gender.. or just use generic terms like.. "aww.. such a cute baby" and even conveniently avoid he/she in their sentences. "Looks just like you" or "Eyes are just like yours". It's recommended that you help them clarify their doubts by telling them in hints whether it's a he or a she.
11. Why adoption?
This question is only applicable to certain mothers like myself who chose to adopt..but nevertheless it's the first question on the list for parents who adopt. Unfortunately..we still are in a culture where adoption is not accepted easily..and people instantly start feeling sorry for adopting parents. All I can say is there is no bigger joy than seeing a smile on your baby's face. End of the day..that's what will form a relation bigger than blood ties.
Hope you enjoyed the blog.. it's been a while since I wrote.. So been a little rusty... but do share with me if there are any things I forgot that you have heard and maybe I can add those up here..
Until next time.