20 Jul 2009
A is startled by the sudden crash and looks towards the window. It was the beautiful crystal vase that her mom's friend had gifted them on her parent's 25th Anniversary a couple of months back.
"Damn..not another stormy night", she said. But something about this night made her feel like Anything's possible. While A starts gathering the shattered pieces off the ground, Ding goes the msn messenger that A had forgotten to log off before she got to her reading.
V says: Hey Happy Friendship's Day to you too.
Happy Friendship's day says: (Damn, shud've changed that friendship day status a week back)Hi...Thank you, May I know who this is?
V says: Yes, I THINK you added me a week back from datingtoday.com's dating profile. I might have emailed in response to your profile.
Happy Friendship's Day says: (Oh..its one of them) Oh, Ok..Yes. I am sorry, but a week has impacted my memory. Do you mind if we start over again. But just need a few minutes before I get back to you.
V says: That's fine. I might not be available since I got some stuff to complete. Maybe another mins here. Maybe we can talk on the phone if you want later.
Happy Friendship's Days says: (hmm....someone's quick) hmm..well I dont trust people off net so soon. Lets see. Talk to you later. Brb.
V says: sure.
A gets back to clearing the mess and mopping the floor up. After about 6 mins, she get back to the comp.
Happy Friendship's Days says: (yikes...is he gone?) hey...u there?
V says: which version of msn msnger are you using? because last I checked, if the person shows online, he/she is still ONLINE. Haha. Just kidding...
Happy Friendship's Day says: (oo...someone with a sense of humour...thats refreshing) Haha, yeah, sorry. I have some people here who always show online but never talk. I thought you might be like them.
V says: Ohk...Nice save. :P
The conversation goes on for about 30 mins, where they discuss music, likes, dislikes, politics, etc. A had never felt the same way before. She was talking to a stranger, and actually LIKING it.
V says: Its been really nice talking to you. But i got to get back to work. Have some music compositions to complete before tomorrow morning.
Happy Friendship's Day says: (ooo...music composer, interesting) Oh, no issues. Will keep in touch. Hope to see you on msn soon.
V says: Actually I hardly check my msn. Mind if we talk on the phone. 25707841 is my number. Do call if you wanna talk later. Bye...Adios...
Happy Friendship's Day says: (there we go again with the number...lol) Ok good night.
Should A call him ?? Is it safe to trust a stranger off the net ?? that too from a dating site ?? But she really thinks he is genuine....Maybe he should give him a chance. Afterall... what can one phone call lead to??
Why don't you help her decide....any suggestions??
8 Jul 2009
Its been almost a week since A had joined her multimedia classes and was utilising 3 hrs in the day for some much needed extra-curricular activity. She still had no clue what to do with the rest of the time. Out of curiousity, she had ended up registering a dating profile on one of the then famous dating site. she definitely underestimated the power of World Wide Web, because she did not expect more than 4-5 responses on her profile. To her horror, her inbox was full with 350 emails from various parts of India.
The crucial task of sorting the responses into Yes, No, Maybe, Are you kidding me??, and Why do they even bother? had taken her 3 days and 5-6 hrs per day, leaving her with Sidney Sheldon as her only hope to find something close to entertainment.
When suddenly... CRASHHHH!!!!!!
...to be continued.....
4 Jul 2009
I don't know what led to this, but I guess this is what they call a 'Writer's Block'. However in my case, its just a BLOCK.
I write here today, to just keep this blog alive. Frankly, I have been very regular on my photo blog "Memories are just a click away". One of the reasons for that was that it didn't require any writing or any topics (most of the times).
I am going through a lot of changes in my life right now, and for once I thought I would write about it, but changed my mind, thinking that "hmmph ....no one wants to read about my life." So I gave up.
Right now, I am looking for an inspiration, a thought, a reason to write. I hope to find it soon. Till then, please be patient with me.
Hope to see u soon.
7 Jun 2009
31 May 2009
This photograph is clicked on the Vashi flyover...The only flyover, where the network is lost AFTER I get off the bridge..Strange!!!
**Kindly bear the quality, I dont have a very advanced phone on me (yet)
25 May 2009
Recently, me and one of my female friends were discussing the kind of guys we had met, and I thought it would be an interesting thing to try and jot down the kind of guys we meet during these "dealings" and meetings. As my attempt to achieve the continuity on the "TENs" post on my blogs, I now bring to you..The List of top 10 kind of men I have met...
TAT = Turn-around Time: This refers to the time it takes for the guy to respond back with a Yes or a No for you.
1. Kind who doesn't talk much: These are the kind who have always sat at the back of the class not drawing any attention, really timid and spoke only when spoken to,and who never really got a girl in his class. Now due to the set rules of these kind of meetings, its understood that the guy is supposed to ask all the questions (at least initially). So when a "shy" guy is encountered with a situation where he is supposed to make conversation, it would sound somewhat like a conversation with a TB patient, with a lot of Ahem ahem and coughs..."Ahem...Cough cough...Hi..How are you?" This kind lets you speak a lot, mostly asks open ended questions, so that he can buy time to cough enough and try and figure out what to ask next..lol
TAT: You will probably end up calling him/his parents for a response.
2. Kind who doesn't stay silent: These are the kinds who are totally opposite of the Kind # 1. Toppers in class, Outgoing, surrounded by girls, life of the party. The conversation with these kinds, either become one-sided (from their side)...and sounds somewhat like this...
- Guy: Hey, How are you?
- Me: Fine, how are you?
- Guy: So what do you like to do?
- Me: Well, I like to write and paint.
- Guy: really? You know, one of my friends is an artist too...He is into blah blah blah ....I used to like to sketch too..blah blah...then i got into engineering...blah blah...in college i used to get A on my assignments...blah blah blah.. and it goes on and on and on...... These kinds most of the times do not give a certain idea of whether they liked you or no...its one of their "mysterious personality" things.
TAT: Though they act mysterious, these kinds are faster at making decisions and conveying them.
3. Kind who wants it all: These are the ambitious sorts. People who plan their lives 20 years in advance..who know exactly what they want..and have a clear view of what kind of girl they want as well. These kinds generally have a set list of qualities they want in their partners and would compromise on maximum 2 points in that list.
TAT: The good part about this kind though, is that you can expect a faster TAT (turn-around time).
4. Kind who can't keep to themselves: One of my friends had met this kind in one of her rendezvous, who had started fighting with her while asking her questions. He felt she was answering too fast and he felt she had memorised her answers. Overbearing, Over agressive and over the top in admiring themselves, are few traits of these kind.
TAT: These will probably not respond quickly, due to their male ego and urge to see you suffer for their response.
5. Kind who keeps it all in (no pun intended): He's the guy that seems so sensitive and caring when you first meet. He's able to share with you the heartbreak of a broken relationship. unfortunately, you only find out after a few more encounters that he's still nursing a broken heart from the relationship he had with someone over ten years ago. These kinds are not so much heartbroken but already committed to never caring about someone again. No matter how much time you spend together, you can never get through.
TAT:The response time for this kind is as slow as a snail, but once recognised, make sure you contact them back for a response.
6. Kind who refuses to grow up: These men are the ones who can't keep a job, who blame everyone else for their own stupidity and laziness, who are constantly outraged that the world is not giving them the respect they deserve. Ironically, they never realize that they are in fact, getting the respect they truly deserve.
TAT: These kinds are always coaxed by their grown-ups to respond and most of the times, its a negative due to constant pressure.
7. Kind that THINKS he knows you: These are the guys who think they are Freud. They spend all their time thinking and little time actually doing anything constructive. They have put a big label on you after one date and a night of conversation. He's the guy who sits there watching you, with that stupid smug "I knew it" look on his hound dog face. He's clearly thinking that by putting a label on you, he has you all figured out and knows just what to do to fix you. He looks at you as if you were some broken piece of pottery he's going to glue back together. What's sad is that he still can't figure out how to get someone to actually like him.
TAT: He doesn't get time to respond. You will know why IF you ever meet this kind.
8. Kind that is prettier than you: These kind makes you feel like a manly cow just by standing next to him. You know the type, don't you? He's the "metro man" who spends more time fluffing his hair just so and takes more time doing it than you would spend painting a Kitchen door. Ladies, the secret to feeling pretty and feminine is to never agree to a man that's more beautiful than you and more delicate than you.
TAT: This kind changes TAT on how he is as a person. Kindly analyse him better and refer to other kinds for related TAT.
9. Kind who is always paranoid: These are the kind who will ask you questions about your friend circle and who you hang out with, rather than questions about YOU. Beware of this kind, because eventually, you MIGHT end up with a paranoid weird violent man who can't stand you out of his sight but can't stand the sight of you. He needs you to have nothing in your life but him.
TAT: This kind (if he likes you) will respond quickly, only hoping that you don't refuse.
10. Kind who will listen to only one person: These kinds generally are a one-woman man,when it comes to making decisions of their lives...and chances are rare that THAT one woman is YOU. It could be their mother, sister or whoever is responsible for his upbringing. Its easier to get these kinds on your side, but that could mean a whole lot of Saas Bahu drama in the household.
TAT: Whatever his "momma" says...
Now for all the girls that are reading this, Lemme see whether there are any kinds that I have missed out.
And for the guys reading this post, What kind are you???
Until Next time..
23 May 2009
The heartbreak.... the contemplation.... the agony... and yet the fact that my heart skips a beat everytime I see his number flashing on my phone, or his message blinking on my google talk. I see him online and wonder why isnt he messaging me? Was it something I said? Was it something I did wrong? Did I say too much last night? All kinds of thoughts cross my mind...and as I sit and go through every detail that led me to this situation, I break the phases down to its TOP 10......I call it...The journey from love to love...
- First Stage: Attraction: The first time you see that person..on first day of college, on the street, in your sister's friend circle, or maybe in a coffee shop...You remember every detail of that person, clothes he/she was wearing, perfume, the way he walked, the first words he spoke..his first sms, his first IM...his first email...etc. The first time that person comes near you or sees you on webcam, your heart rate increases; temperature rises, palms get sweaty; stomach flutters; throat tightens and 1001 emotions that run in your mind and heart that you cant even define.
Emotionally, you start knowing each other, hobbies, ideologies, career, education, or some other common grounds. You start asking questions to get to know the other person even better...
- Second Stage: Romance: You start accepting the person as they are. You start doing small things for each other for selfish or selfless motives. Giving gifts, writing poems, PDAs, and taking her for dinner, inviting him over for lunch, etc. Eventually, the selfish motives of the Romance die out and the selfless motives turn into 'passion'
- Third Stage: Passion: This stage mostly evolves when the romance (emotional relationship) is replaced by or taken over by Passion (physical relationship). Verbal and physical flirting, teasing, Obvious PDAs, etc. Even though this stage is the most fun amongst all the journey, this becomes the deciding point of the relationship. From here, either the couple can reach a dead end in the feelings or become a stronger bond.
- Fourth Stage: Intimacy: This word has often been associated with physical closeness, however its mostly deals with comfort that the couple share. The difference between Attraction and Intimacy is the inquisitiveness and appreciation. The couple share their thoughts, their feelings, their dreams and everything that is the Base of their relationship. In true intimacy, there is nothing that you cannot tell this person (though we often hesitate because of our own unfounded fears).
- Fifth Stage: The Realization - You start noticing that things have been a bit rocky between you and your partner, well ROCKY may be an understatement! TREMULOUS, ROLLER COASTER RIDE FROM HELL is much more like it. Okay, maybe I'm exaggerating...But, you've come to realize that things aren't going to work out, unless you enjoy getting the "silent treatment". Somehow, the sparks that were flying at the beginning of the relationship have now turned into an uncontrollable forest fire. Ultimately, you need to muster up the courage and face the fact that things aren't AREN'T WORKING
- Sixth Stage: The ACTUAL Realization: - Okay, so you had the biggest fight ever and vow never to see him/her again. So, what happens now when you realize you can never call them again for a quick cup of coffee... or, at all? What if you start to miss them? What if they DON'T miss you? You might start to think maybe it wasn't a good idea to break up after all. And then you have an epiphany. OF COURSE it was a good idea -- the relationship wasn't working out. Don't call them, remember you broke up for a reason. Just because you miss them doesn't mean it'll be great when you see them again. You just keep reminding yourself why you broke up in the first place and DON'T CALL THEM!
- Seventh Stage: The Crappy Part: - Once you realize that your life will be different, this is what I call the crap-pi-phany. You go through the phase of listening to songs that remind you of them, cry into a pillow that still smells like them, read you old text msges/chat histories, call him/her up and hang up...go through the road that you used to meet on hoping that he/she might be do the same... and agonize about what's going to happen next. Your life may seem over...
- Eight Stage: The Rage: - That bitch/bastard! I treated them like gold! This is the most critical stage - Bitterness. You list all their annoying traits that you once thought was actually cute. Who actually uses the word "poopy/bubblegum"? At this point instead of wasting your day in front of the comp reading old chats, you get out of bed and dress to impress. Now that you look good and feel good you can actually say and believe, "if they don't want me, that's their problem, not mine." Over time you start missing them less and love yourself more. You keep yourself busy with new hobbies, school, work and friends. You stop feeling sorry for yourself and realise that there is a whole world out there waiting for you with plenty of new and exciting people to meet.
- Ninth Stage: FREEDOM: -You haven't thought about your ex in days, (well it's a start) and BAM, there they are strolling down the street with someone else..... and your stomach doesn't lurch neither does your face doesn't turn bright red. When you say hi , your ex looks more uncomfortable than you. Once the encounter is over, you stroll away proud and tall and don't think about the encounter for more then 10 minutes ever again. (PS. Have they put on weight?). You smile, because now you know you are finally free and ready to open up and love again.
- Tenth Stage: The Crush: - Over time you'll begin to realize that your ex isn't the only one in the world. Wow! There's some damn fine peeps in this city. The point is, once you're able to open yourself up again, other people will want to get to know you. Even if you're not ready to start an intense relationship with somebody else, get out there and start having fun again...and then... there is that LOOK again...
But no matter who we are with, where we are, and how we end up living our life, We still get that look on our face when we pass across the corridor where you first saw them, or the website that you visit where you met him in virtual world...That indeed was your true love...that you lost...somewhere in the journey.
Until Next time....
20 May 2009
So Here goes....
Reminds me of the creature from "The Legend" of Will Smith.
19 May 2009
18 May 2009
So here we go...My play with numbers starts here:
One: I have 1 sister, who I love dearly..People ask me "would I have been happier if I had a brother"...and I reply ..Hah..My sister is no less in any way..if you know what I mean. *wink*
Two: I have worked for 2 MNCs till date. Industele and Wipro BPO. Few best years of my life.
Three: I had come 3rd in 3 different sports event when I was 12 years old in one of the community Annual sports event.. "Bhatia Annual Sports Day"...Long Jump (yeah...i could jump the farthest)....Shot put...(no prize for guessing why it went the farthest)...and 400 metre running race..(longest I have run at a stretch till date..)
Four: Till date there are just 4 girls I consider as my best friends...Bhavika, Anu, Sarita and Vaishali. Its quite rare for me to easily befriend girls, but I would never trade any of my guy friends with these 4.
Five: I have had a work experience of 5 yrs in Wipro BPO...met many friends...enemies...traitors...mentors..guides...and best friends. :)
Six: I have a strong 6th Sense when it comes to people..not in judging them, but to read their minds.
Seven: There are 7 wonders in the world...which are all on my list of "Things to see before I die"
Eight: I have 8 fingers without a Ring....I am largely a jewellery person, but can't stand gold. **The 2 rings on my finger are an exception to that fact.
Nine: I like to play 9-ball game in pool...Quick finish..and in an hour's play, we can play more games.
Ten: I was 10 years old when I had got mumps...the only major disease I had since childhood. I remember my mom applying a weird paste on my throat which smelt bad, and apparently tasted bad too, since I could almost taste it every time I gulped...Yuck..!! even the thought of it still makes me pukish..!!
This has been an interesting ride with numbers...and I would love to tag few more friends..some who HATE being tagged, and some who have experience in being tagged...so guys...have fun...!!!
I would like to tag Prateek, Anand, Impie, Alok, DD and Sakshi.
16 May 2009
Anyways, I have had many friends find their "dates" online and gone on Blind dates with a richboy999 or sweetgal25 and even though the thought of going on a DATE is exciting, online dating opens a whole new door for unexpected surprises and questions.
Luck matters a lot when you are looking for friends/dates. So how does it all get started?? There is a reason why sites like orkut/facebook/twitter, etc are called social networking sites. Being a girl, I receive at least 2-3 invites on orkut and facebook every week from strangers wanting to be friends and I am sure many females face the same issue. But for guys it probably becomes a different issue altogether. Many people wrongly assume that using an online dating service is the equivalent of throwing in the towel and screaming, "All right already, I'll do it -- I'm desperate!" Actually, online dating is not for the desperate (alone). It actually could become a very successful way to find 'compatible' people.
So when our mail box shows the magical mail of "Speeddate recommends you rahul007 " the first obvious thing we do is scan their profile. Maybe that is one reason why many online dating services are even hiring psychologists to help with their personality profiles. They want to make sure that they have scientific studies to back their "matching" programs.
Recently, I had one friend of mine come to me with wanting tips for her first experience at online dating. Here's what I told her...
1. Catch Phrase: "Its not personal, its business". These are the kind of lines that suit as a dialogue of a 'godfather' movie, but just imagine the impression it would create on a personal profile. You would'nt want your online dating dream to be a business now, would you?? My personal approach to finding the best Catch phrase is --> close your eyes, and take your name. Whats the first thought that comes to your mind? Adjective, quote, or even a cheesy 'about me' line whatever it is, is what defines you.
2. Sorry you are not my type: Don't take these responses from others personally. You may find that you send a lot of "hello" messages, with no replies. The truth is that some people date online more for entertainment and to find out where they stand, than to meet their soul mate. Also, feel free to say "no" to anyone online. And if you don't want your profile tortured by students or desparados, make sure you make a clear mention of the same.
3. Be what you are: Last week, one friend shared with me his frustration that the women he met in person did not match their profiles. Some people aren't honest and don't post recent photos. But be advised, you need to be truthful when describing yourself. Outright lying just won't work -- it'll blow up in your face when your date learns you are not an MBAite, or a professional dancer.
4. Take your time: Studies show that relationships develop faster onlineI would recommend to wait at least two weeks before you meet face-to-face. And, before you meet in person, move the conversation from online to phone. During a phone chat you'll get a better sense of whether your personalities click. (time frame mentioned might differ from person to person..go by your instinct)
5. Oh my gawd, he looks just like Brad Pitt: Avoid choosing your dates based on photos. It’s all too easy to scroll through Internet profiles, selecting the Brad Pitt look-alikes and bypassing the rest. Remember, real men lose their hair and grow love handles , yet if you met them in person, you just might find them charming. Besides, if you’re anything like us, you probably don’t look that much like Angelina. DO brush up on your math if he sounds too good to be true: Subtract 3 inches from his height, Double his weight, half his income, and add a decade to his age.
6. Roop mahal, prem gali, kholi number 420: Avoid disclose where you live or for that matter, personal information that could lead to your address, such as your home phone number, last name, or an email address that includes your last name. While most men on the Internet are just as normal as you are, you don’t want a K..K..Kiran type psycho ringing your doorbell, even if he’s carrying a box of Toblerone chocolates.
7. Beep a.k.a SMS: Avoid asking for a first date via smses. I hate that. It makes the other person seem like you don’t have the balls to call. It’s a regressive approach. Most people want to feel special when they’re asked out on a first date. Why cheapen it by using an electronic medium for that?
8. "Seat belts please" a.k.a Safety rules:
1) When you give someone your phone number online, use your cell, rather than your home or work phone. If things don't work out, cell phone numbers are much easier to block.
2) If you do meet in person, always pick a neutral busy spot like a coffee shop or a mall. Don't have your date pick you up or drive you home.
3) Tell a friend where you are going to meet this person, what time and your date's name.
4) Don't drink too much on the first meeting. People seem much more attractive and interesting after a few glasses of wine and it's easier to say or do something you didn't plan on doing.
9. Follow-up: Always send an sms after the first date. "Had a great time, looking forward to meeting you again" or "Thanks for meeting up. Talk to you soon" would never hurt anyone.
10. Post first-date hangovers: Scenario 1: If you like the guy and don't hear from him within a few days, it's fine to shoot off a quick email: "Thanks for the drink and the fun company. I really enjoyed meeting you." He'll either contact you for a date or not. If it's "or not," cut your losses and move on. Refer to the first tip AGAIN. Scenario 2: You don't like the guy and he keeps bugging you for a return engagement. Just send a quick note: "While I truly enjoyed meeting you, I just didn't feel we were compatible enough to pursue a relationship. But I wish you all the best."
I am still to hear how her dating scene is coming along...but I am sure all of us have had one or few disaster dates...I would love to hear some more experiences.
Till next time..
11 May 2009
Well, I have come to realise that being a mother is a full time job, and is no less painful than our so-called corporate life.
"Mother's Day" I have never been very crazy about the concept of Mother's Day. Those who have read my blog on Valentine's Day, would know my opinion about using these so-called Days to express feelings.
But yesterday changed my whole opinion about this Day.
So for those who don't have enough time in their race to success to tell your mother that you love her.... trust me, All that work isn't worth it.
Think about it..!!!
9 May 2009
My name is Kiran (name changed). Thank you so much for sharing this valuable information with me. I always used to wonder about ways to avoid conversation with my girlfriend when she is in a bad mood, since I never was able to understand what she meant when she said certain things. I have tried your tips and trust me, I am a much better boy friend than I ever was.
I want to try and de-code one more word that she uses very often, which is generally used when I am trying to explain her why I behaved the way I did. I used to feel a sense of victory earlier when I used to hear that word, but somehow your blog has got me thinking otherwise. Kindly Explain. The word is "FINE"
Thank you for writing in. Well, I am glad my thesis is helping you. The word you are referring to is the most commonly used word which enters the scene after a heated argument or debate. The Word "FINE" might sound like a victory call, but don't be fooled. This is the word women use to end an argument when they are right and you need to shut up.
Good luck with your future life. Hope my tips help.
My wife always says thank you whenever I get gifts for our kids. Is she trying to say something else?? Should I be worried??
-- A Confused martian.
As of now, you don't have to worry at all. If a woman is thanking you, do not question, or faint. Just say you're welcome. However, I want to add in a clause here - This is true,unless she says 'Thanks a lot' - that is PURE sarcasm and she is not thanking you at all. DO NOT say 'you're welcome' . Good luck.
Hi...Since you have done deep analysis on your topic, I would like a clarification. My wife is a perfect home-maker. She always takes care of everything from cooking, etc. Normally, I take care of the bills of the home, but someday if I forget, She takes care of it for me and makes me feel very nice saying "Don't worry, I got it"
I am so proud of her, but am I wrong in interpreting what she is saying?
Well, I wouldn't say you are completely wrong. But in a way, it could be a potentially dangerous statement for you. Mostly used when there is something that a woman has told a man to do several times, but is now doing it herself. This will later result in a man asking 'What's wrong?' For the woman's response refer to Women Dictionary Part I, # 27. But if your wife is an exceptional Venusian, it might genuinely be a case of a very understanding soul mate.
Few more additions to the earlier de-codes:
Loud Sigh: This is actually a word, but is a non-verbal statement often misunderstood by men. A loud sigh means she thinks you are an idiot and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you about nothing. (Refer back to # 27 for the meaning of nothing.)
Whatever: Is a woman's way of saying F--YOU!
Again, Thank you all for writing in and Keep posting...Will be looking forward to it..!!!
6 May 2009
So, Work like you don't need money. Love like you've never been hurt
Till Next time...Adios...
2 May 2009
28 Apr 2009
Q: What do you call a man with half a brain?
- To be as handsome as his mother thinks
- To be as rich as his child believes
- To have as many women as his wife suspects...
22 Apr 2009
If the topic itself has made you click on it and got you here, then trust me you would not be disappointed. I had got this email long time back and thanks to the art of Forwarding emails, it has probably reached your inbox sometime or another. For those who are lucky enough not to get forwarded mails, here it is....
I would recommend that women don't read further. I don't want to be criticised of being AGAINST my own kind. :P
Ok...So here goes....
They say women never say what they want..As a matter of fact, they always tell you EXACTLY what they want. Its just the matter of decoding it...So here you go...Some of the basic codes, specially decoded for you.
- You want...You want : We need OR I want.
- It's your decision: The correct decision should be obvious by now.
- Do what you want: You'll pay for this later.
- We need to talk: I need to complain.
- Sure . . . go ahead: This is a dare, not permission.. Don't Do It!
- I'm not upset: Of course I'm upset, you moron.
- You're . . . so manly: You need a shave and you sweat a lot.
- Be romantic, turn out the lights: I have flabby thighs.
- This kitchen is so inconvenient: I want a new house:
- I want new curtains: ..and carpeting, furniture and wallpaper
- Hang the picture there: No, I mean hang it there!
- I heard a noise: I noticed you were almost asleep.
- Do you love me?: I'm going to ask for something expensive.
- How much do you love me?: I did something today you're not going to like.
- I'll be ready in a minute: Kick off your shoes and find a good game on TV.
- Am I fat?: Tell me I'm beautiful.
- You have to learn to communicate: Just agree with me.
- Are you listening to me?: Too late, you're dead.
- Yes: No.
- No: No.
- Maybe: No.
- I'm sorry: You'll be sorry.
- Do you like this recipe?: It's easy to fix, so you'd better get used to it.
- I'm not yelling!: Yes I am yelling because I think this is important.
- That's Okay: This is one of the most dangerous statements a womencan make to a man. That's okay means she wants to think long and hardbefore deciding how and when you will pay for your mistake
IN ANSWER TO THE QUESTION: WHAT'S WRONG?
26. The same old thing: Nothing.
27. Nothing: This is the calm before the storm. This means something,and you should be on your toes.
28. Everything: My PMS is acting up.
29. Nothing, really: It's just that you are such a jerk.
30. I don't want to talk about it: Go away I'm still building up evidence against you.
So now you understand, Why women can get so complicated to understand??
You might want to try it and let me know if I was of any help... till then adios and good luck
21 Apr 2009
Don't you just hate it when 30% of your phone bills are for calls made to customer service for credit cards, phone service, trouble shooting, etc? Well this is what ticked me off today....
I have been studying for my exams since almost 3 months now, and it was about time I got a break. I called up Justdial.com and was relieved to find no automated machine (trust me, the last thing I wanted was thousands buttons to press to just find out the movie schedule. Thankfully, I was directly connected to the operator, who even knew who I was (I am a regular caller to justdial for various reasons). I was given the number to the nearest location Adlabs cinemas... 39894040...Don't bother to call them..Its much easier online.
Anyways....I spent 35 minutes to know that no new movies had released this week and all other movies were either Marathi or English movies. First:
- press the language option...
- then which day you wanna see movie...
- which theatre...
- which movie...etc etc etc.
Confused??? Well...I was too. Believe me, I love watching movies, but this experience has scarred me for at least a week of not even attempting to find out about the movie schedule.
I was SO horrified with this experience, that I ended up searching for "weird automated answering machine messages" on net...Just for fun.
Amongst the many hilarious messages, I found an article..and i knew I HAD to share it with everyone.
School Phone Menu .....
"Hello! You have reached the automated answering service of your school. In order to assist you in connecting to the right staff member, please listen to all the options before making a selection:
- To lie about why your child is absent - Press 1
- To make excuses for why your child did not do his work - Press 2
- To complain about what we do - Press 3
- To swear at staff members - Press 4
- To ask why you didn't get information that was already enclosed in your newsletter and several flyers mailed to you - Press 5
- If you want us to raise your child - Press 6
- If you want to reach out and touch, slap or hit someone - Press 7
- To request another teacher, for the third time this year - Press 8
- To complain about bus transportation - Press 9
- To complain about school lunches - Press 0
- If you realize this is the real world and your child must be accountable and responsible for his/her own behavior, class work, homework and that it's not all the teachers' fault for your child's lack of effort: Hang up and have a nice day!
I leave it up to you to decide if this is a funny article or a sarcastic one for parents who are totally dependable upon the educational institutions for raising their child...Think About it...WHICH OPTION WOULD YOU SELECT???